Working Titlez

An intense conversation about a manuscript at the Society for Southwest Authors 2008 conference in Tucson, Arizona

One of the traditions at most writers conferences is a custom known variously as “author interviews”, “one-on-ones” or “pitch sessions”. I think of them as a form of “speed dating”. Authors make appointments with agents, publishers and editors and get 15 minutes to sit with them one-on-one and “pitch” their book projects to gain valuable feedback, advice on avenues to seek towards publication, and for a lucky few, an actual book contract. For authors, the opportunity to place their proposal directly in the hands of a prospective agent, editor or publisher — and to make an impression as a “real person”, not just another submission package, is priceless. So, too, is the chance to ask questions about the publishing process, assess the best options, and get advice about fine-tuning their proposal. More than one would-be author has told me I was a “practice” pitch, in anticipation of being ready for the “real thing” for the next year’s conference.

My regular readers and audiences at presentations know that I heartily endorse writers conferences as one the the very best ways to learn more about the industry, the craft of writing, and the business-side of being an author or professional writer. Besides the valuable information from presenters, the networking with industry professionals, and the tips and tricks to be learned, the camaraderie with fellow authors at various waypoints along the path to publication can be rewarding and encouraging.

This past weekend I did 22 one-on-ones, a panel about publishing trends and a workshop on editing at the Society for Southwest Author’s 36th annual writers conference. The hospitality of this stellar organization was warm, the caliber of the facility was top-notch and the partipants were receptive and enthusiastic. Plus, I came away with a great new line (with a nod to Star Wars):

Metaphors Be With You.

Many of you know that I drive back and forth between Southern California and Las Vegas nearly weekly. Many nights across the dark and vast desert, I’m kept company with Paula B. and her guests, discussing all things related to writing. The Writing Show website has many resources with the weekly podcasts are my favorite. You can listen to the podcasts right from the website or you can download via iTunes as an .mp3 file. Check the archives and you’ll find a treasure chest of topics and fascinating interviewees. Paula is an adroit interviewer, and I know, since she just interviewed me.

Listen to Publishing Economics for a wide-ranging discussion on the process of publishing, who makes the money, how books get from the author’s mind to the bookstore shelves. Paula and I discuss what’s wrong with the book world these days and she even asked me what I’d change if I were Queen of Amazon.

The metaphor is language that directly compares seemingly unrelated subjects. A simile is a technique that uses words such as “like” or “as” to compare two ideas. Even though similes and metaphors are both forms of comparison, similes allow the two ideas to remain distinct in spite of their similarities, whereas metaphors seek to equate two ideas despite their differences.

Huh? What was that again?

Using metaphors in your writing can be a surprise for the reader — and an effective way to make your point. They can also be dreadful, eliciting groans and guffaws.

There is a collection of “worst” metaphors written by high school students that floats around the Internet. Stephens Press book designer Sue Campbell is a fine writer with a wry sense of humor. She’s crafted a story using EVERY metaphor on the “worst” list plus creating a few doozies of her own. Titled Hefty Bag, you’ll find this writing exercise on the Downloads page.

Thursday night I was invited to speak to the Las Vegas Writers Group, a dynamic bunch of writers here in the Vegas Valley. My topic was on editing and manuscript prep — how to polish your manuscript so it shines before sending it off to agents and publishers. I also talked about the editing process once your book has been selected for publication and the author’s role — and offered up some resources and tips. LVWG “Scribe” Megan Edwards wrote a comprehensive summary of my presentation and she’s graciously allowed me to post it on the Downloads page. Thanks Megan!

One of our authors recently contacted me to ask about her royalty statement. Her book was published four years ago and her most recent statement showed nearly as many books were returned as were sold during the reporting period. Returns are the bane of publishers and sometimes make me think the American publishing business model is broken — to say nothing of what boxes of books crisscrossing the country from publisher to distributor to bookstore — and back — and forth — uses in energy.

Q: My royalty statement shows book sales in typical numbers, but it also states returns that nearly equal the sales, resulting in very small net sales, and a small royalty check to match. What happened? Were the books really returned?

A: In a word, Dear Author, yes. Like it or not, to play in the sandbox of the huge national bookstore chains, we have to be willing to accept returns. Basically, it is a consignment business. We ship books to our distribution center in Kansas City. Our distributors call on store buyers in NYC who decide which books will go to which stores. Books are shipped either to corporate distribution centers, or occasionally, direct to the stores. Books go on the shelves and if they sell, this information will eventually be reported to distributor who will report to Stephens Press. Ultimately (it is a long, slow process) we’ll be sent payment for those books that shipped and sold months earlier.

It is the books that don’t sell right away that become subject to returns. How do the stores decide which books to send back to the distributor/publisher? We aren’t officially privy to that information, but we know that some buyers will put a return date into their computers at the time the order is placed. If it doesn’t sell in sufficient numbers within X weeks, it is adios for that book. Bookstores want to keep their inventory fresh (and why not, since the books haven’t been paid for?) so returns regularly occur as selling seasons change. Some stores may periodically “clean house” in a particular subject or a new title may push another on the same topic off the shelf. Eventually (six to twelve months, depending on contracts) the stores DO have to pay for the merchandise, sold or still on the shelf. That’s when returns may ramp up — and every publisher has a “returned today, reordered tomorrow” story.

So what happened with our author’s book? We can’t know for sure, but it is probably a bit of all of the above. Unfortunately, the current economic conditions suggest we’re going to see greater returns in coming months.

While it may be hard to get published, did you know, if you write badly enough, you can also find your work on the pages of a leather-bound book?

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped “Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.”

Thus writes the winner of 2008 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, Garrison Spik, a 41-year-old communications director and writer from Washington, D.C. Garrison Spik is the 26th grand prize winner of the contest that began at San Jose State University in 1982.

An international literary parody contest, the competition honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873).

The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Although best known for The Last Days of Pompeii (1834), originating the expression “the pen is mightier than the sword,” and phrases like “the great unwashed” and “the almighty dollar,” Bulwer-Lytton opened his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the immortal words that the Peanuts beagle Snoopy plagiarized for years, “It was a dark and stormy night.”

You can view all the submissions and enter the 2009 contest at bulwer-lytton.com.

When I was seven, I asked Santa Claus for a typewriter. A REAL typewriter, not a toy — on that point, I was very specific.

I remember feeling sure I needed a typewriter. I had no plan as to what I’d do with it. Oh, I’d “play secretary” and type letters or maybe write stories. Somehow, I had the notion, if I had a typewriter, that the words would just flow, unlike the laborious process of penciling block letters on lined newsprint or the faux-cursive I was experimenting with (real handwriting was not in the curriculum until the third grade).

My parents repeatedly asked me if a typewriter was what I REALLY wanted? I matter-of-factly assured them a typewriter was EXACTLY what I wanted and while Santa more commonly brought toys to good little boys and girls, I was confident he’d deliver on my request and was pretty sure I was on the “good” list.

Christmas morning, I awakened first. Tiptoeing down the hallway, my excitement bursting, I rounded the corner and there, under the tree, it sat. Atop its own black leather case was a REAL typewriter. Years later, I would learn that it was a military surplus training typewriter. The keys were different colors to teach learning typists which fingers to use. It also typed only capital letters. My dad paid $5 for it. He’d had quite a challenge finding an affordable real typewriter, just days before Christmas.

I sank to my knees and ran my fingers over the machine, holding my breath. A sheet of paper protruded. MERRY CHRISTMAS, CAROLYN. ENJOY YOUR TYPEWRITER. LOVE, SANTA. This was more than I could keep to myself. Rushing back down the hall, I shouted out, “Santa brought me a typewriter AND HE WROTE ME A LETTER!”

Later that morning, after presents had been opened, pictures taken and breakfast eaten, Mom showed me how to roll a fresh sheet in my beloved typewriter and I was ready to begin. I stared at the white sheet of paper. Frozen. I could not think of a single thing to type.

Writer’s block at seven.

Puzzled by grammar rules you never thought were important in the fifth grade? Wonder whether the preface comes before or after the introduction? Forgotten when numerals are spelled out? Fortunately, there’s a rule book . . . for all those pesky questions that can slow down the most productive writing session.

Hyphenation rules are many!

The Chicago Manual of Style is the “Bible” of all questions book-related.

• It will tell you the proper sequence for front matter elements.
• It will tell you when to cap and where to italicize.
• It will tell you how to hyphenate Italian and when to use the pinyin spelling of Chinese place names.
• It will tell you when it is Coast Guard and when it is coast guard.
• It will tell you whether it is whoever or whomever, contagious or infectious, hanger or hangar.

Every author needs a Chicago by their side and should refer to it often. Retails for $55, usually discounted on Amazon. You can also sign up for a FREE 30 day trial at www.ChicagoManulOfStyle.org. It costs $30 a year for access and you can bookmark electronic pages. Sign up, too, for the Q&A email and periodically you’ll get editing questions with answers from the editors.

Or at least the grocery store!

I so enjoy our authors sharing their “life-as-an-author” stories and this is a good one. Maralys Wills (Damn the Rejections, Full Speed Ahead and A Clown in the Trunk) writes:

Recently at Ralph’s Market, the manager asked as I checked out, “Penned any new books lately?” (he’d been part of my book signing at the market last year). “Well, my book on writing has just come out,” I said. Just then, the woman behind me said, “You’re a WRITER? I belong to a writing group.” That was the beginning. While the manager stood by and grinned, the two of us exchanged phone numbers, she proclaiming that her group would LOVE to hear me come and speak, and I answering that I’d LOVE to come to her group. Quickly handing the woman a sheet of paper, the manager had the look of someone who’s just pulled off a major match-making coup.

And that, Dear Authors, is just how it works. The writing group appearance will undoubtedly result in another referral to speak elsewhere, Maralys will talk to the manager about another signing at the grocery store, and she’ll gather a few more fans and sell more books.

On a related note, I recently heard that authors should “autograph” books, not “sign” them. Why? Celebrities autograph (books, objects, even body parts!), their signatures are valued, and authors need to elevate their “celebrity” status. At Stephens Press, we’re making some moves that direction, advertising signings as “Author Appearances” where they will be “talking to fans and autographing books”. True, not true? What do you think?

Scary stats. Do we have more readers than a year, two years, five years ago? Not likely, but by some reports, twice as many books have been published per year, going from 172,000 new titles to over 400,000 in just a few years time. We don’t need more books, we need more readers!

58% of the US adult population never reads another book after they leave school.

42% of college graduates never read another book.

80% of US families did not buy or read a book last year.

32% of the U.S. population has ever been in a bookstore.

33% of book purchases are made by customers 55 and older.

20% of adults in the U.S. read at or below the fifth grade level.

Stats from Jenkins Group/Bookwire.