Working Titlez

Michael Vernetti is interviewed by the KLAS-TV Channel 8 investigative news team regarding his book, Lies Within Lies, which chronicles the life and times of Nevada’s infamous federal judge, Harry Claiborne. Vernetti speaks candidly about Claiborne, one of Nevada’s most colorful characters.

Wendy Mazaros, author of Vegas Rag Doll,shares details of her former life as the wife of a Mob hitman in an interview with KSNV – Las Vegas, Channel 3 News. Wendy, a one-time murder suspect herself,  shares her stories and recollections of the Mob world in the 1970s with Las Vegas Sun reporter Joe Schoenmann.

Former CityLife Editor and R-J staffer Geoff Schumacher recently posted a past interview with Vu Tran, one of our Restless City authors. Though Geoff and Vu have both since left Sin City for broader horizons and greater challenges, their conversation about writing, and the authors who have influenced Tran in his relatively young, but remarkable career, is well worth reading. It is obvious that we will be hearing much more about this Whiting Writers’ Award winner! For the complete interview, click here.

OR: USING “PLAIN LANGUAGE” TO COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY

By Guest Blogger Jodie Renner

“Are you excavating a subterranean channel?” asked the scholar. “No sir,” replied the farmer. “I am only digging a ditch.” – Anon

Today’s post is mainly aimed at nonfiction writers, for a change. Have you ever read a legal document that was incomprehensible to you? Sometimes even magazine articles seem to be far more stiff and convoluted than they need to be.

Readers today are deluged with documents to read and information to assimilate. They don’t want to have to wade through a thick pile of verbiage, long, complicated sentences, and unnecessarily fancy words to get the info they’re looking for. They want you to state your points clearly and succinctly (with maybe even a touch of humor), so they can get on to the next chapter, document or article.

Language is all about communication; and as such, written language should be easily understood by most of the population, or at least by everyone in your target readership. If you’re sending your average reader to the dictionary more than once or twice in your article, or if they have to stop and re-read a sentence because it’s way too long and complex, you’re not communicating in a clear, direct way, and you’re likely to turn off your readers. Or, worse, you’ll just come across as pedantic and pompous.

According to Wikipedia, “Plain language, sometimes called simple language or clear language, is lucid, succinct writing designed to ensure the reader understands as quickly and completely as possible. Plain language avoids complications created by verbose, convoluted writing common in technical, legal, and other fields.”

Dr. Robert Eagleson defines plain language as “…clear, straightforward expression, using only as many words as are necessary. It is language that avoids obscurity, inflated vocabulary and convoluted construction. It is not baby talk, nor is it a simplified version of…language.”

Here are some tips for communicating clearly and effectively in your writing:

1. Avoid unnecessarily long sentences and excess wordiness.

Excess or elaborate words make your writing weaker. When tempted to use a wordy phrase, choose a concise alternative instead. As Robert W. Harris says, “Concise sentences have a force that wordy sentences don’t have. Extraneous words merely take up space and dilute the impact of the idea being expressed.”

Harris gives the following examples in his book, When Good People Write Bad Sentences:
Wordy: “Consuming excessive calories at breakfast, lunch and dinner can lead to an increase in blood pressure.”

Concise: “Overeating at meals can increase blood pressure.”

Wordy: “Owing to the fact that my car is not the most reliable of machines, I often show up for appointments after their scheduled commencement times.”

Concise: “Because my car is unreliable, I’m often late for appointments.”

Government writing in particular, is often too wordy. Here are some examples from www.plainlanguage.gov of excess words in government writing and plain alternatives:

Original: “At the present time, the FAA in accordance with new regulations will on a monthly basis conduct random security checks in the event that there is a terrorist alert.”

Revised: “The FAA under new regulations will conduct monthly random security checks if there is a terrorist alert.”

Some examples of wordy phrases to avoid, and straightforward, clear alternatives:

Wordy phrases —- Plain Alternatives
as a consequence of —–because
in the vicinity of ———near
on a regular basis ——- regularly
as a means of ———– to
as prescribed by ——— in, under
at a later date ———– later
at the present time —– now, currently
despite the fact that —– despite
for the purpose of ——- to, for
in accordance with —— under
in the event that ———- if
in the not-too-distant future – soon
has the appearance of — looks like
on a monthly basis ——- monthly
owing to the fact that —- because
pertaining to ————– of, about
should it appear that —– if
with regard to ———— about
drew to a close ———– ended
on an annual basis ——- annually

Notice that the extra words in the first column above don’t help the meaning or add anything of significance. The wordy phrases are no more serious, compelling, or informative than their concise alternatives. In fact, extra words drain the life out of your work. The fewer words used to express an idea, the more punch it has.

2. Use active voice instead of passive voice.

Passive: The tests were graded by the teacher. The ball was kicked by Paul. The motion was passed by Senate.

Active: The teacher graded the tests. Paul kicked the ball. Senate passed the motion.

Because the active voice emphasizes the doer of an action, it is usually briefer, clearer, and more emphatic than the passive voice. Whenever possible, use active voice in your writings.

3. Avoid redundancies and unnecessary qualifiers.

It’s a mistake to think that in order to make an idea clear, you need to state it in several different ways. Using different words that mean the same thing can actually make your document harder to understand. To avoid repetition, if you are thinking of describing something with two words that have the same meaning, use the word that sounds more powerful.

Original: Because you are an experienced senior, you should help aid the new incoming freshmen.

Revised: Because you are a senior, you should help the incoming freshmen.

Also, unnecessary qualifiers add no additional meaning to a sentence, so avoid redundant phrases such as:

absolutely necessary, advance warning, basic fundamentals, close scrutiny, final outcome, future plans, honest truth, joint collaboration, overused cliché, past history, regular routine, unexpected surprise, etc.

In all of these cases, it’s best to just use the second of the two words in each phrase, as none of these words needed qualifying.

4. Don’t use multiple negatives

Using more than one negative muddles the meaning of a document. Accentuate the positive when you can. Here’s an example from www.plainlanguage.gov:

Original: No changes will be made to the Department of Transportation’s regulations unless the administrator reviews them and concludes that they are not lacking any important information.

Revised: Changes will be made to the Department of Transportation’s regulations only if the administrator reviews them and concludes they are lacking important information.

5. Don’t use a pretentious word or phrase when an ordinary one will do.
“I always endeavor to utilize multisyllabic words. It is the manner in which sophisticated people write.” – from When Good People Write Bad Sentences
Pretentious language, rather than impressing or intimidating readers, just makes the writer look like a pompous show-off. High-sounding words can suggest that one’s ideas aren’t interesting on their own so they need to be “enhanced.”

Here are some overly fancy words and their down-to-earth alternatives:
altercation – fight; appellation – name; domicile – home; capacious – roomy; facilitate – aid; impecunious – poor; jocular – witty; masticate – chew; perambulate – stroll; modification – change; pusillanimous – timid; recapitulation – summary; sobriquet – nickname; vicissitude – hardship; vociferate – shout. (The list goes on, but you get the picture.)

6. Finally, wherever possible, write in a visually appealing style.Use headings, subheadings, bulleted lists, numbered lists, sidebars, graphics, tables, and parallel phrasing to make it easier for your readers to find the information quickly.

Remember, the purpose of writing is to communicate your ideas as clearly and as easily as possible – not to impress your readers with your erudition!

Copyright Jodie Renner, http://www.jodierennerediting.com/

Sources: When Good People Write Bad Sentences, by Robert W. Harris; www.plainlanguage.gov; and Wikipedia.

Jodie Renner is a freelance manuscript editor, specializing in thrillers, romantic suspense, mysteries, romance, YA, and historical fiction. Jodie’s services range from developmental and substantive editing to light final copyediting and proofreading, as well as manuscript critiques. Check out Jodie’s website at www.JodieRennerEditing.com and her blog, dedicated to advice and resources for fiction writers, at http://JodieRennerEditing.blogspot.com.

The Essential Author Photo

Every author needs at least one official author photo. Many have a number of them. These days, author shots tend to be more casual, not a formal portrait shot, but something that reflects more of the personality of the author. You’ll need author photos for many purposes from the jacket or cover of your book to publicity for speaking gigs, expert listings, FaceBook profiles, and more.

Settings and Backgrounds

When possible, I like settings that reflect something about the book. This photo of Brian Hurlburt, works for just such a purpose. Brian is the author of The Las Vegas Country Club, a beautiful history book of the venerable club where the movers and shakers of Las Vegas built a city, deal by deal. The photo reflects the location, but also works nicely when cropped for the frequent needs for a “head shot.” You might also want to have a head shot, plus a shot of you in action — speaking to a group, riding a horse, hiking, singing — whatever fits you and the subject of your book.

This shot of H. Lee Barnes has always been one of my favorites. Author of SP's TALK TO ME, JAMES DEAN, it personifies Lee.

This is a great solution for a group of co-authors for our fun title SINNING IN THE CITY: A GIRL'S GUIDE TO LAS VEGAS.

This soft and reflective image is perfect for ballerina Marta Becket for her memoir TO DANCE ON SANDS.

Author of FIGHT TOWN, author and sports journalist Tim Dahlberg is caught in the action, reporting from the Vegas boxing ring.

Color or No?

Grayscale

Sepia

Color

You might as well shoot color. You can always convert to grayscale when you need a black and white shot. Some authors prefer their bio photosbe black and white. It does look a bit more “literary.” You can also do duo-tones, sepia tones, or a tonal effect in a color that suits you or your story.

TV reality star of Holly’s World and Las Vegas Peepshow star, the beautiful Holly Madison’s author photo is as glamorous as the life she leads. A good color shot can easily be converted to black and white or a tonal color like sepia. Our forthcoming title, THE SHOWGIRL NEXT DOOR: HOLLY MADISON’S LAS VEGAS will be released next month.

Rez It Up, Rez It Down

Take your author photo at high resolution. You never know when you’ll have an opportunity to supply it to a slick magazine for a story about you — and your publisher will need a high-resolution version for your book jacket. The file should be a 300 dpi or about one megabyte. Once you have the high rez size, you can rez it down, as needed, for web use at 72 dpi.

Shutterbug?

Should you use a professional photographer? For the best results, yes. Be sure the photographer understands you’re looking for a casual portrait, not an “executive” portrait. If you elect to have a friend shoot you, be sure the camera is set to the highest resolution setting. Outdoors, not in direct sunlight, usually provides the best results. Have it shot both with, and without, flash. Often, the flash can provide a nice fill-in light for your face. If you’re lucky, your publisher will provide the photography for your author shot.

Sharing Your Smile

Your publisher will provide your author mug to a variety of places it is needed as they register your book. Beyond that, your author photographs should be easily available to the media or organizations that may need them to publicize your appearances. At Stephens Press, we place downloadable versions of author photos on each book’s website for this purpose. You can also email as attachments when requested.

. . . if you missed making a great new friend, connecting with old friends, and celebrating writers and writing by missing tonight’s KICK-OFF RECEPTION for the Las Vegas Writers Conference. It is open to all lovers of books and authors, 7-10 PM, Sam’s Town, Virgina Room. No host-bar. Would love to see you — please come by. All the cool kids will be there!

PS: Still some spots available if you want to do a last-minute registration for the conference. The line-up of speakers and programs is amazing!

There’s tremendous value packed into each day aspiring authors spend at a writers conference. The workshops on the craft of writing. The chance to pitch your book to real-life literary agents. Heck, even the chance to just get away for a few days (I love those destination conferences).

But to me, the greatest value usually isn’t even listed on on conference brochure.

Networking.

The energizing experience of meeting and chatting with other writers, editors, publishers, agents, book designers — the pros in the field — every time you turn around. Meals, happy hours, receptions, the conference bookstore. You name it, and there’s another chance to meet another person who can help you — or you can help — in some fashion.

I’ve encountered many folks at such conference with whom I still have a relationship today. For those getting started, this is especially valuable in learning the ropes and how the biz works. My best advice: do NOT be shy about asking questions. You’ll find most people are genuinely happy to help you understand how things work, and it is vital to your writing career.

However, I have been pitched a book in the ladies room, and no, I didn’t take kindly to it. Otherwise, I’m fair game!

Hope to see you next week at the Las Vegas Writers Conference. I hear there are still some spots available. If you aren’t enrolled for the conference, please come by Thursday evening, April 14th, Sam’s Town, at 7:00 PM. Yours truly and Stephens Press are hosting a meet and greet to kick off the conference, and writers and would-be writers are warmly welcome. Cash bar, lottsa great folks, and a special (and funny) guest.

Dear Friends,

Regular readers may have noticed that Working Titles went silent for a long time. Nearly a year. Some of you know why, others don’t. It seems time to explain.

On December 17th of 2009 I was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia or AML. I was given a very poor prognosis and told that chemo may not work, but if I was going to try, I needed to start immediately. I entered the hospital the same day. Somehow, after a couple of long and difficult months I managed to pull through, get discharged, and I was in remission. Unfortunately, the remission only lasted about six weeks.

By then, I was able to get into the City of Hope in SoCal where blood cancers are a specialty. In a blessed circumstance, they were able to find a perfect match stem cell donor for me through BE THE MATCH and the international donor registry. On June 30th of last year, my “new” birthday, I received a stem cell transplant. My donor, a complete stranger, is a 38 year-old man in France, and a perfect DNA 10 for 10 match for me. This has contributed greatly to the success of my transplant.

So basically, I was only able to work sporadically for about a year, and many things just had to go, including blogging. It was a long haul, but today I’m doing wonderfully well, and have a bright future once again.

My “favor” is simple and so important. PLEASE consider signing up as a prospective donor at www.bethematch.org. It is so simple, and completely free. You need to be under 60 and healthy. You fill out a form online and they mail you a cheek swab kit. You swab your cheek and mail it back and that’s it.

The odds are very high that you’ll never be called. But it takes literally millions of people around the world to find the perfect match for someone’s mom, dad, brother, sister, or best friend. And most especially, for children. Yes, this leukemia is notorious for striking very young kids — and YOU could save a young life.

It is still simple, even if you are called to provide a donation. And every penny of your expenses will be covered. You get a check-up to make sure you’re currently healthy, and you get an injection every day for a week to increase your stem cell output. To harvest the cells, they set you up like a blood donation, except a second needle returns your blood after the cells have been removed by some miracle machine. That’s it, you’re done. And you’re a hero.

If it weren’t for the kindness and generosity of a complete stranger, I would not be writing this today. I would not have enjoyed this past weekend with my grandchildren. I would not have placed a number of first books in the hands of the authors. I wouldn’t have completed numerous workshops advising aspiring authors. I know that I have much left to do in this life, and I look forward to the future with with such renewed optimism and eagerness.

Please check out BE THE MATCH and consider signing up for the registry. It takes so little and the rewards could be among the most meaningful of your life.

Tim Sunderland is finishing the final draft of his soon-to-be blockbuster novel—Rules for Giving. He also recently purchased a Nook, and promptly had his tech-savvy son hack it and install the Android operating system so he could read Kindle files. BTW, he also checked with his sons—none of them has dated Amanda Hocking.

By Guest Blogger Tim Sunderland

“I want to be a writer.  I do not want to spend 40 hours a week handling e-mails, formatting covers, finding editors, etc. Right now, being me is a full-time corporation.”

Before you read this blogpost click here and check out the New York Times article concluding with the above-referenced quote.

In case you didn’t, I’ll tell you about it.

The quote came from a recent article in the All-the-News-That’s-Fit-to-Print newspaper about Amanda Hocking, a young writer who sold a million copies of her self-published young-adult paranormal novels in the last year through Amazon.com and BN.com. Her next four books—three of which are probably only in outline form at best—went on the auction block last week for bids from traditional publishers.  St. Martin’s Press acquired them for somewhere north of $2 million.

I did a Google search for a photo of Amanda.  First, she looks like she’s not old enough to legally purchase liquor in most states (she’s actually 26, but to me everyone looks young).  Second, I’m pretty sure one of my sons dated her.

What’s interesting is that the article reveals the best and the worst of self-publishing in 258 words.  The best is that through self-publishing Amanda sold enough books to gain major status.  She also made some money in the process, although the electronic versions of her books are very reasonably priced—which might have been part of her strategy.

Having done that, she then chose the traditional route for her next four books.  I’m sure the big paycheck was an incentive, but her quote told a second, more interesting story about the downside, the hard part of self-publishing.  She as much as said, “Hey, this marketing stuff is a lot of work.  I just want to  write.”

If you self-publish there are all sorts of options—print-on-demand, ebooks, podcasting—you name it.  But the flip side of the self-publishing coin, regardless of what venue you choose, is that you are also self-promoting—blogging, Twittering, Facebook, public relations.  As the owner of a marketing agency, I do this stuff for a living.  Trust me, it takes a lot of time, and it’s not easy.

I keep reading stories of writers who are making a living going the route of ebooks (http://jakonrath.blogspot.com).  A few report incomes of $100,000 a year or more.  There is a lot of marketing involved in those sales.  When do they sleep, let alone write their next book?

I used to think the few who are successful in ebooks first achieved their recognition through traditional publishing.   Then along comes Amanda Hocking, who makes it big by a self-publishing, and she goes the other way back to traditional publishing.   She’s not the first, but she did it in a big way.

Kinda screws up the whole formula.

So here’s the question:  as an unpublished writer, what avenue do I pursue in getting my novel published? Conventional publishing looks attractive.  I have zero name recognition.  The publishing industry—book clubs, reviewers, agents—are all slanted towards the traditional.  Besides, a traditional publisher is going to give me that six-figure advance I’m counting on so that I can retire from my day job.  Self-publishing—and self-promoting that comes with it—are just going to add to my workload.

I also can’t deny the prestige factor—that I might craft a story, develop a plot and create characters that a traditional publisher deems worthy.  My words could end up on bookstore tables and library shelves and in the hands of readers for generations.  That’s exciting.  The other options?  Not so much.

But today’s reality is that even though Amanda Hocking went for the big paycheck, it’s not going to relieve her of the self-promoting duties.  She maintained a blog when she was a self-publisher and her fans are going to expect it to continue.  More and more established writers are being compelled by their publishers, agents, and just common sense, to maintain blogs and websites and Facebook pages—or pay someone else to do it.  It’s become part of the business.

Gone are the days when we could go up to our lonely writer’s garret (has anyone ever seen a garret?) and before we closed the door, turn wistfully and say to the world, “I just want to write.”

Contact Tim at tim@gonzomarketers.com